I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and I told her how for the last two years, I’ve kind of sequestered myself, voiding relationships and friends, until I could discover who I was without outside influences. She laughed and said, “You know thats what they do with people when they’re committed. They put them in a place where they can be by themselves for a few weeks. They are not allowed to see any family or friends, not knowing where the problem is coming from.” I laughed to myself thinking that I was relating to someone that was committed, and having felt a little insane in the last few months, was not all that comforting of a thought.
My feeling of insanity however is only coming because I’m doing things differently, that I have done before. I am in fact, insanely happy, so at the moment, I don’t care. My life has been spent doing all the things “I should do” vs doing the things I wanted to do. I still have obligations so I’m still not doing everything that I want to do, but I think that’s a good thing. As in all things no extreme is good; a totally hedonistic life vs one of servitude, “Goldilocks way” will prevail. I’m not taking the safest way, but I’m taking the path that brings me joy. I’m writing, blogging, and taking care of myself with more rest and relaxation, exercise, healthy food choices, and choosing the friends I want to spend time with. Friends and family who inspire. I have no real income, and thats the scary part, and why I feel a little insane. I’ve been an entrepreneur for the last fifteen years so I’m familiar with taking risk, but in the risk I took before, I saw a definite way to earn money. In fact, that is why I chose to pursue those ventures; I was miserable, and I felt that life needed to go.
Life truly is too short to spend being miserable. So I’m smiling, I’m breathing, and I’m going more slowly, all the while realizing how much time I’ve wasted and not wasting another minute. I remind myself of a quote:
“Take rest, a field that is rested gives a bountiful crop.” Ovid
I’m giving myself time to do what I need to do for me, and I just know, the bountiful crop will come.
Just a thought…
Love, Goldi
Creating a perfect life in a perfect world…