Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.
Today has been a hard day for me. Yesterday a friend gave me the book, The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner; One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World, and for those of you who are new to my blog, this was my dream. This is what I have been searching for, and what I wanted to do…travel to the happiest places in the world, and write about it.
I haven’t disclosed much on my blog about my personal life, and that’s because my last ten, no let’s say twenty years have been hell. I have been knock down so many times that I can’t count, so much so that I am writing a book about it. It’s too much to describe in a few short sentences. My blog has been thoughts that I myself want to remember. What I needed to hear and read when I get down, and it has worked. I am being more productive, and I am working toward the goals that I had hoped would lead me towards my dream, and I hope that it has helped others too!
I am what you would call right now a displaced worker, I have been self employed for the last 15 years, and have put all my funds into ventures that now in this economy are obsolete. I have been living off of savings, then sold assets, and am now waiting for my last asset to sell. If it sells, I won’t really see any profits, I just won’t have to declare bankruptcy. So I should be out of debt one way or another in a few months. And, as someone who has been living off of savings in the hopes that my businesses ventures would take off, I am not qualified for any type of aide. So at this point, and for the last eight months, I have had no income at all, and only a very small amount of funds left in the bank. And, these are the good years…
I am also a single mom, and I am trying to hold it together for my children. I have a son at the community college, who I am not really worried about. (I do receive 500 a month in child support-yea-food! )He is brilliant and his dream is to be a mechanic. He is well on his way, he works and pretty much supports himself. I believe he will be great at what he does, and he will love what he is doing. My youngest child, who will be graduating this spring, wants to be a doctor. She has taken all of the right steps to get into a good school; She has an unweighted 4.0 gpa and will graduate high school with five AP classes. Does Community Service, Varsity Athlete, actively involved in clubs, and she worked. She deserves to go to a good school. At this point I do not even no if I am going to have a roof over our heads, much less how I can help send her to school. She is applying though, we will just have to see how it all works out. No pressure!
My plan was/is to write my blog. Get healthier mentally and physically, hopefully grab some readers along the way, and some how earn some money. Write my Memoir. Get thorough the mess of my life, either by packing up or by losing it all. Then take my daughter to college, drop her off, and spend the rest of my life traveling, writing and blogging. I wanted to write a book on the Happiest Places in the World… I need happy! So if it just seems like a small thing, it’s just that it is in a long, long, long, line of things. It is what I have been hanging onto.
So if you are coming to my blog because your life is Shit too…and your are looking for a way to get through the tough times, then just know that I get it! But, let’s try and stay positive and have faith that somehow we will have the life that we dream. I still want to travel to all the happiest places in the world…I will just have to write about something else! I will have Faith. I hope you do too!
Just a thought!
Having the perfect life in a perfect world;)
PS. Eric Weiner’s book is great! I am thoroughly enjoying it!