Tag: thought

Goldilocks Experiment

I feel a surge of love, goodness and hope!  It is funny how thoughts can do that to you. Lately I have been having a hard time writing something that I wanted to publish on my blog.  My original vision of my blog was to always put inspirational words on it, acts of good will, and thoughts on how we can live a better life, but sometimes it is hard. Sometimes I feel like I am being a fraud, because I do not always feel so up.  Today I have been contemplating committing to an expensive writing retreat.  It is what I want to do so bad.  I feel it in every bone of my body that this is what I want to do.  I have told you before that I see my life as a traveler, blogger, writer, and also of a person just living in peace at home with family, with friends, and in nature.  My fear today is that I should not spend that money.  That it may be wrong to spend that money on a dream, and as I am writing this, a revelation has come to me.  That if I do not do it my dream may not happen.  It may start a chain of events that limits me and keeps me filled with doubts.  Other opportunities may appear that seem safer.  I may take that road, and then may not come back down this road for years or ever…

My original reason for writing the blog was to get me writing.  To help me to communicate with others, to feel heard, and to keep myself pumped up with positive words.  I had felt myself slipping deep into a depression that I needed to get out of.  I wanted to feel that someone was listening.  I wanted to have hope, and it worked!  I feel so much better.  Down days I look at my blog and read the inspirational words that I need to remember and it has brought me back.

So I am going to do it.  I am going to spend that money because the vision of myself not doing it, make my heart feel like it is breaking.  It seems that if I don’t do this, life would be unbearable, and yet while doing it makes me feel excited and hopeful, it also feels reckless. Reckless at a time in our economy and in my life where future income is an unknown factor, that the money should be save for food, housing and debts already incurred. Not doing it leaves me in that self defeating downward spiral with no hope, and no happiness which I think will lead me to all the places that I do not want.

So I am going to continue this Goldilocks experiment of having the perfect life and living it in a perfect world.  I will not be pushed by my fear!  I will lead with my dreams, and I hope you do the same!  Cheers to our success!

 Just a thought!

 Love, Goldi

GoldilocksBlog.com

Being Happy Now!

I have been traveling recently and my first stop was at a friend’s house that was open bright, clean, and neat. This friend lives her life. She is always on the go, but works a really hard laborious job that is flexible with time so that she can travel, relax and explore.  Her future is not secure, but when I asked her how she does it.  How does she stay so positive?  She said with conviction, “I refuse to live in fear!  Right now I have everything that I need! So I am going to enjoy what I have while I have it, and if something happens I will deal with it then.”  I felt so good staying there and being with her that I did not want to leave, but right before I left, her sister in law stopped by. I told her sister in law how nice it was to see her and asked how she was doing.  Her reply was a series of complaints… Wow I could not wait to run out the door then.

My next stop was at a friend’s house that also has a beautiful home.  This friend however is sick and has been for as long as I have known them.  Nothing serious, mind you but sinus infections, aches and pains, that kind of thing.  The house was cluttered and the blinds were always drawn.  This friend was constantly saying negative things, but weirdly seemed happy in his own negative little world.  That was who he was and it was fine with him.  He did not want to change, but it made me acutely aware of how I did not want to live, and of how quickly I wanted to leave that environment.

For me, I know this stuff, but it hit me hard.  Maybe I was never present enough to actually feel it and really see it, or maybe I just never experienced the two extremes so clearly defined like that, but it really struck a cord with how I want to be… and it reminded me that happiness is already within us!  We just sometimes need to shift our perceptions and remember how lucky we are, to focus on actually living life, and to be happy with what we have already! 

Today is a beautiful day!  I have a roof over my head, food in the pantry, and I am alive!  I hope I always see the beauty, and I hope you do too!

 

Just a thought!

 

 

Love, Goldi

 

Searching for a Perfect Life in a Perfect World…

Goldilocks Blog

Death of a Life – Grief

Yesterday Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett died, and yesterday I had a conversation with a friend, who brought up the subject of grief.  For my friend her grief has not been one of a death, but more a death of her own life. Years of sacrifice and hard work, continually putting her self out there, taking great risk, so that she would have financial and emotional security.  Only to end up at this point of time, alone, with a failed business, and the feeling of a failed life.  I believe that she will be okay, and that a process will just need to take place, and that she will end up better than ever, but for her.. right now she feels immobile, unable to put herself out there anymore.  For me, looking from the outside, I look at her as a kind of hero.  Someone who has not just sat on the sideline of life but has really put herself out there.  It reminds me of a quote by Theodore Roosevelt

 “It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett both epitomize this quote, never taking the most traveled road, and living their lives on their own terms.

 

 

Just a thought…

 

Love, Goldi

 

Goldilocks Blog

Searching for the perfect life in a perfect world…